Fix You
by ninaschickita
Summary: Five years have passed since the night that changed Elena and Damon's lives forever. After years of protecting and saving Elena, can Damon trust her to fix him in his most desperate times? Or is it too late? AU.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Okay so this is my first fic that I've written and published on a website like this for other people to publicly read. I'm really nervous about it because I don't think my writing is all that good, but I figured it was worth a shot. By the way, reviews are magical! Before I let you all get to the first chapter I just wanted to give a major thanks to Jenn, one of my amazing best friends (who's also my beta!) who gave me the opportunity to write this fic. Without her, this story would not be here and I wouldn't have the confidence to post my writing.

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**CHAPTER ONE:**

_Elena couldn't grasp where she was at first. Every realization came one by one. First, she saw the darkly lit night sky. Then she looked around and saw that she was surrounded by a ring of a fire. Across from her was someone she presumed to be a witch, chanting something in a language too foreign for her to comprehend. Next to the witch was…Klaus. But before she could ask herself why any of this was happening, she heard a raised voice coming from her other side. Her heart fell as she saw the cause of the noise._

_Damon._

_That's when it all came back to her. She was in Mystic Falls. She had been at the Salvatore boardinghouse when Klaus had come for her. He wouldn't say why but, for some odd reason, she wasn't bothered by that. If it meant keeping her loved ones safe, she would do anything he asked. No one else would get hurt because of her. Of course, both Stefan and Damon had a fit and were prepared to fight the original tooth and nail. But with one snap of Klaus' fingers, Kol and Rebekah appeared. Klaus told them both that they had been assigned to keep Stefan tied down until everything was done and over with. But Damon was a different story. He was stronger and would probably outsmart the originals and find his way out of the house somehow. So he decided that the elder Salvatore brother would come with them and Elena felt a little more at ease with that. Despite whatever was to come, at least she had him by her side. _

_Her small reverie was interrupted by more yelling and screaming. Her attention went back to Damon. He was in a circle of fire himself and was screaming at everyone to let him out. "Fuck you Klaus, fuck you, your witches and your goddamn hybrids! If you as so much as lay a finger on Elena I will rip this world apart to get to you." She was taken aback as she saw him try to force his way through the fire, burning himself in the process. Was he…was he really hurting himself just to get to her? No he couldn't do that. He wasn't supposed to. She was the one who destined to endure pain in her life, not him. He was supposed to live. Elena needed him to live. "It's okay, Damon. Calm down. You don't have to fight it. It's all going to be okay," she said, holding back her tears._

_"Aren't I the one who's supposed to be telling you that?!" He asked, burning himself again as he tried to get out of the circle. She watched Damon struggle, in awe of his need to be by her side and his drive to protect her. _

_"Oh, I'm absolutely petrified of a 160-something year old vampire. What will I ever do with myself when I know you'll be hot on my trail for revenge?" Klaus snickered._

_Before Klaus could finish his sinister smirk, Damon's hand shot directly out of the ring of flames and enclosed around Klaus' neck. _

_"_I will destroy you._" _

_Elena had never seen Damon's eyes go red, veins protruding, fangs adorning his scowl out of sheer anger before. It had always been due to bloodlust or craving or even need, but never anger. His eyes now reminded her just how vicious a creature he was, but there was the slight comfort in her heart that he was her protector, and would guard her no matter what._

_Before Damon got a chance to pull any further, the flames had risen higher and hotter than ever. Klaus shook free of Damon's hold, snapping his wrist in the process. A hiss of pain escaped Damon, but his eyes never lost their vampire glint. He rushed against the walls of the flames, desperately trying to get at Klaus before he could do the unthinkable._

_To her immediate fear, Klaus got even closer to him, "Now aren't you causing quite the bit of ruckus? All of this just for her? She's nothing special. A good blood bag, yes. But is she really worth the trouble you're going through? No. You shouldn't have wrapped your whole world aroundthis one girl. You'll be better off without her." He leaned his face closer to the flames, "I wonder what will happen when I kill her. When I wrap my hands around her and break that little neck of hers...how will you feel? What will you do then when you see her lifeless body right in front of your very eyes?" Damon's face contorted and she saw a mix of different emotions run across his face – sadness, misery, anger, and then pure and utter hatred. She knew who each of those was directed at and couldn't help but feel a little sad herself. But right as she was going to call out to him and tell him not to do anything stupid again, he spit right in Klaus' face and smirked proudly._

_Klaus' jaw set and he kept his temper under wraps, much to Elena's surprise. "Do you think that's funny? Well I have something for you too." He whirled around and spoke into the darkness, "Drag him away. I have no need for a vampire in this ritual. All I need is my doppelganger. Vervain him and keep him quiet. I'm done playing useless games with useless people." Out of shadows came out two bulky looking hybrids, both with no emotion whatsoever on their faces. _

_The minute she saw the fire around Damon dissipate and hybrids begin to drag him off, she went into hysterics. "Damon!" Her screams only increased and rose to higher octaves when she heard his screams from being drugged with vervain. She started to try to find her way to get to him. She _needed_ to get to him. She needed to be next him. "Don't hurt him. Please don't hurt him," she begged. She could feel the sharp sting of the flames on her skin as she tried to get out, but she didn't care. She had been okay up until they had taken him from her but now that she didn't have him by her side she felt lost and knew there was no hope. Her comfort was gone._

_When she could no longer hear him, Elena sank down on her knees and let out the sobs she had been suppressing. From what she had heard, she assumed Klaus was going to kill her. She was surprisingly okay with that, welcoming it with seemingly open arms. But where was Damon now? The thought of death coming for him was too much for her to take. If only she hadn't gone to the boardinghouse that night. If only she had stayed home instead. Then he wouldn't have been involved in any of this. She was so consumed by her sobs that she didn't even notice the fire around her die down until it was completely gone._

_Footsteps approached her but she didn't look up. Klaus crouched down in front of her and commanded, "Get up, Elena." She couldn't bring herself to gather the energy to stand up. What was the point? "Playing deaf are we now?" Klaus chuckled before grabbing one of her arms and yanking her up. Her knees would've given out had he not been holding onto her. _

_As Klaus placed his hands on either side of her neck, Elena did her best to add a hardened edge to her features. Even if he was going to squeeze the life out of her by choking her or snap her neck, the last thing she wanted to do was give him the satisfaction of watching her becoming fearful before his eyes. No, she had to be strong. _

_"I've drained enough blood from you to last me for years. I can make my army of hybrids without having to worry about your whereabouts. I don't need you anymore," he said with an evil smile. The single tear that slipped out of the corner of her eye was not for her own self. It was for a certain blue eyed man who could be either dead or alive right now. And it was all her fault. "I've had Lilith over there casting a spell to ensure that the Petrova line will end with you. If by any chance any living members of your blood line still exist, she's made sure that they won't ever be able to reproduce. I can't have my mother trying to destroy me through you again. Your blood is the precious key to most things in the supernatural world. But now no one will ever have access to your blood again but me."_

_"It's time to end the Petrova doppelganger tradition once and for all" were the last words she heard before the world suddenly went black. _

Elena woke up with a start, breathing heavily and bathed in her own sweat. It all still felt so real, as if it had happened yesterday. But in reality, five years had passed since the horrible night that led to the death of her human self.

Right when she tried going back to sleep, a ringing sound pierced the air. But interrupting that sound was a groan coming from the opposite side of the bed. "Who the hell is calling you right now…"

"Go back to sleep, _princess_." She was sure that if she turned around, she would be on the receiving end of a death glare. Katherine didn't take too lightly to comments like that from anyone. But luckily enough for her, she made a few exceptions for Elena.

But did she really want to answer the phone call? If she were completely honest with herself, she didn't. There was only one person who would be calling her right now, especially at this time. It wasn't going to be good news. Elena could feel that in her bones. It was never good news. Her suspicions were confirmed the moment she saw the name that was flashing across the screen. With a deep sigh, she answered it.

"Stefan? What's wrong?"

Not missing a beat he replied, "He's asking for you again."

It was obvious to her who Stefan meant. She knew who _he _was. _He_ was Damon.

"Where is he?"

"Elena," he pleaded with a hint of desperation in his voice, "You should know...it's really bad this time."

"Stefan, _where is he?_"

* * *

Two hours later, Elena was on a plane to Damon. Everything went by quickly and smoothly, thanks to Katherine's help. She was the one who had compelled the desk clerk to give her a red eye flight back to the United States. Elena never really liked to use her compulsion but when she arrived at the airport, she was fully prepared to do everything in her power to get the next flight out of Italy. The next flight to get her to Damon. But thankfully, she didn't have to do that.

Katherine knew just how important this was to her and she had compelled all the necessary people to get her on the plane as quickly as possible. The only problem that compulsion wouldn't be able to fix was that the flight was over four hours. No matter what method of transportation she chose, there was no way around the long travel hours. She would just have to keep herself occupied somehow.

All she had with her was one small suitcase that was currently lying above her in one of the overhead compartments. That was another reason she had gotten to the airport as soon as she had. She didn't pack much. She had her diary with her but she couldn't even look at it. Most of her entries were unfinished. Every time she tried to sit down and write, she would get distracted. Elena always had a way with written words but lately, she was beginning to lose her touch. But other than that, all she had was a couple outfits to change into if need be. She didn't plan on staying with Damon for long. She hoped she wouldn't have to. It hurt her way too much to see him for more than a short period of time. Every single thing had changed after she left Mystic Falls. And she was so afraid nothing would ever be the same again.

_Air poured into her lungs as she woke up. Elena looked to her side and saw Damon sitting next to her, watching her with melancholy eyes. She was back at the boardinghouse. She had never felt a heavier sense a relief flood through her before. The hybrids hadn't killed him. He was alive. She was the only dead one._

_She paused for a moment. She wasn't dead. She was alive. In fact, she had never felt more alive. But how? There was no way Klaus had let her live. He was the one who basically told her she needed to die. She distinctly remembered the sound of the bones in her neck cracking as he twisted it. How was this even possible? There was no way she could be alive right now unless…No. It couldn't be. Could it? Tears welled up in her eyes as she stood up from where she was sitting. Her stomach churned at the thought of what she might become. She began wailing about death and curses. "I won't do it! I won't complete the transition! I never wanted to be a vampire and I refuse to ever be one. I'd rather die!" She yelled at no one in particular. She couldn't become a vampire. She was okay with the prospect of her death, but this was something entirely different._

_Elena looked forward to find Stefan sitting behind Damon. Her head was filled with every thought she felt she could muster up and then some, but her eyes and heart were blinded with anger. "I can't become a vampire! I won't! I won't become a monster! I hate all vampires! I hate all of them!" Elena knew she was acting like a five-year-old mid temper tantrum, but by now her fear of becoming a blood hunger demon had engulfed her entirely. She wasn't thinking clearly, and her words stung worse than she could've imagined._

_Elena could see the look of guilt cross both of the brothers' faces and could feel her resolve falter. She didn't want to cause anyone pain, but she could not face a life of blood lust and death. Her life had already been too consumed with sadness, she felt as if she could bear no more of it. If her life were to end like this, then so be it._

_Petrified of the two brothers in front of her, and so full of clouded judgment, Elena never heard the blonde vampire enter the room. _

_"Elena, you can't hate all vampires," Caroline pleaded._

_"I do! I hate all of them! I wish things could just go back to the way they were before I knew about vampires in Mystic Falls." _

_Caroline's understanding demeanor fell slightly, remembering her emotional state after she began her transition. Her gaze shifted to the brothers now, both of them too dumbstruck with guilt to comprehend what the brunette was wailing about._

_"Damon, can I speak with you in the hall for a second?" Caroline let herself out of the room, expecting the eldest brother to follow. He did, gently closing the door behind him._

_The blonde vampire's voice came slightly above a whisper, traveling through the halls, "What happened?! How could this have happened Damon!? I thought-" _

_Her words were cut short by the sound of Damon's fist impaling a wall._

_"Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I know this is all my fault? Everything that happened tonight was because of me. I couldn't stop Klaus. I couldn't get away from those two damn hybrids that held me down. It's my blood that's going to make her into the one thing she hates most. I'm the big bad vampire here and I couldn't even get myself out of a stupid fire circle! I know I was there. I didn't try hard enough to save her and now I'm going to have to watch her die a second time and it's all my fucking fault!" Damon shouted. Caroline immediately understood and her eyes mellowed. She wasn't going to place anymore blame on him. She already saw that he blamed himself for everything tonight, and probably every other horrid thing that had happened in Elena's life. She didn't want to do anymore damage._

_"Damon…you can't blame yourself for all that. For one thing, it was a witch who put the barrier around you wasn't it? There was no way you'd be able to get out of that. Witches trump all. As for Klaus…I doubt you'd be standing here right now if you took out his hybrids," Caroline said. She was trying her best to soothe his obvious hatred for himself but she could she her words were barely registering with him anymore. Damon moved away from her and walked over to his liquor stash and grabbed a bottle of bourbon, deciding to drink it straight instead of wasting time with trivialities like using a glass. _

_All the while Stefan moved closer towards Elena, trying to reach out to her. He kept trying to hug and touch her to comfort her but she gave him the cold shoulder. Didn't he know she wanted to be left alone? The last thing she wanted was to be touched by him._

_"Elena?" Stefan asked tentatively._

_She scowled, "What?"_

_"You need to drink. You've been passed out for a while and that used up a lot of your waiting period. You don't have that much time before your last transition hour passes. If you don't drink before that's up, you'll die. You can't do that to us." He reached out behind him and revealed to her a blood bag. "Drink this and you'll be fine. We'll teach you how to drink responsibly. You won't even have to drink from humans. You can just do blood bags or animals or whatever you want."_

_Her eyes instantly focused on the blood in front of her. She could feel her body yearning for it. Just one taste. All she wanted was one little taste and then that was it. Wait. What was she thinking? She couldn't have one taste. One taste and it would all be over for her. She would become the one thing she was dead set against becoming. The look on her face went from bewilderment to anger in just a few seconds and before she even knew what was happening herself, her hand rose and her palm collided with his face so quickly that he had no chance to block her. The sound echoed through the room and a loud slapping noise bounced off the walls as her hand contacted with his cheek. His head snapped to the side from the force of her hit, caught off guard by the sudden act. Stefan remained frozen, shocked at the turn the conversation had taken. _

_"How could you? Of all people, you should understand how much I don't want to be a monster…and yet here you are forcing me to drink!" Elena hissed before running off, out of the house and into the night._

_"What did you do?!" Damon asked, rushing back into the room and over to his brother._

_"Oh look who's finally managed to pull himself away from his drink."_

_Damon slammed the bottle against Stefan's chest and narrowed his eyes, "Don't start with me. I may be drunk but I can still kick your ass. So don't give me lip. It's been a long night and I'm not in the mood to tolerate your bullshit. Now tell what happened so I can get back to what I was doing."_

_"Are you serious?" Stefan shook his head wildly. "Are you telling me you heard none of what just happened? Elena's not going to transition. I tried convincing her to change her mind but she slapped me and just left."_

_His demeanor changed then. Elena was just going to let herself die again? He wouldn't let that happen. She would hate him for forcing her to drink, but if that was what he had to do to keep her alive, then so be it. She had already slipped from him once. He wasn't going to let it happen again. He grabbed the blood bag from his brother and stumbled out of his house. Where could she be? The first thing that came to his mind was Wickery Bridge. For one thing, it was the closet place to him. Two, he knew she wouldn't go into the main part of town. That would mean she would have to pass by humans. Humans with veins that would sing for her to drink from them. She would want to be somewhere isolated. _

_Sure enough, Elena was at the bridge. But there was someone else standing by her side. Was Damon really that drunk that he was seeing things or was that Katherine? What was she doing here? He could barely make out what they were saying but as he got closer, he could tell from their body language that Katherine was telling her something important. It almost looked like she was scolding her doppelganger. He saw Elena nodding as she cried and his heart twisted. That's when he saw the red liquid shining from a bag in Katherine's hands and Elena's face begin to change. She hungrily tore open the bag and drank._

_"What are you doing here? And why are you with Elena? How did you get her to drink?" He asked in disbelief._

_"Are we going to play twenty questions tonight or are you going to thank me for getting her to choose vampirism?" Katherine smirked._

_"You've never done an unselfish thing in your life Katherine, why start now? What good comes to you if she's a vampire!?" He called out angrily as he moved towards Elena. He stared as she devoured the blood, still unable to process that his girl was going to live._

_Damon's vision of Elena could never possibly change. She'd always be a sweet, beautiful, gentle girl whose smile could light up a room, but seeing her like this was something else entirely. He was a monster, to himself and to others; but Elena was an angel compared to everyone else. Now Damon watched on as his angel's beautiful smile was adorned with a crimson stain. He felt a guilty tug on his heart as he stared at her, conflicted with an overwhelming sense of love for the woman before him, and hatred for his kind._

_Katherine simply shook her head and pulled Elena away from the blood bag, "That's enough. You'll have plenty to drink later. Let's go back." She motioned to Damon, "You too. Not that I need to tell you to come too. As long as I have her you'd probably follow me to the ends of the earth, even if you are drunk."_

_Finally back at the boardinghouse, Elena, struck with the horrid feeling left behind from what she had done, passed out. She had drunk human blood and enjoyed it. The sense of wretchedness would never leave her. Katherine then stowed her away in the backseat of her Porsche._

_"I'm going to take Elena with me. I'm not going to tell any of you where because I know you'll try and find us. I'm going to teach her how to control her blood lust because neither of you are fit to teach her. You're both biased and your love for her will dictate how you teach her. I, on the other hand, don't have that problem," She declared to the room._

_Damon whipped his head from side to side rapidly, completely outraged at the idea. "No. You can't take her away from me. I just got her back." He tried to move around her to get to Elena but Katherine was too fast and much more sober. She easily pushed him back onto the ground and left for her car._

_"Why aren't you fighting her on this? Help me. I'm your brother," Damon yelled._

_"No, Damon. She's right. I don't like it either, but she's right. I don't see any other way to help Elena. If she stays here, we're going to fight over how to teach her. Katherine's lived a lot longer than we have and knows a lot more."_

_Furiously, Damon rushed out of the boarding house with a tiny black bird perched on his shoulder._

_"Oh no, we're not talking that godforsaken bird on this trip."_

_"If you want Elena to have any grasp on humanity as you teach her, take the fluff ball with you." Merlo squeaked at Katherine from Damon's shoulder fiercely. _

_"I don't want a stupid bird along for the ride. You're not in the position to be bargaining with me. I can do whatever I want with or without your permission, thank you very much."_

_"Either you take him or I tear your car apart. You know I can and will do it. You decide," He said pointedly. _

_"Fine. The bird can come."_

"Ma'am? The plane has landed. Everyone else has gotten off. I didn't want to wake you but we have to start cleaning the cabin for the next flight."

"Hm?" Elena asked while yawning. "Sorry, what? We're here already? It felt like we just took off a minute ago. Let me just get my things and I'll leave." She grabbed her suitcase from its place and walked out off the plane into the airport. Another perk of her having used a small suitcase was that she didn't have to wait at baggage claim. She breezed past everyone taking their time to get all their luggage, not wanting to waste any time. But before she could walk out the door to hail a cab, a man in a suit stopped her.

"Are you Miss Gilbert? I have a car waiting for you outside."

"My last name is Gilbert but I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong person. I didn't call beforehand to ask for a driver."

"I know you did not. Miss Pierce called the car service agency and demanded that they have someone sent over here to drive you to your desired destination. She said something about you being in a hurry and needing to get somewhere fast. Here, let me get your bag."

Elena smiled to herself. Katherine was really something else and she was truly grateful for all of her help. She'd have to do something nice for her whenever she got back to Italy. She and Katherine sometimes got on each other's nerves but in the end, they understood each other completely, almost as if they were in sync.

Once and she got inside the car and after handing over the hotel's address, the driver told her it wouldn't take long to get there. Fifteen minutes at the maximum if there wasn't any traffic. This was happening. She was going to see Damon again. She always knew what to expect from him, and this time was no different.

Every year since the night Katherine and whisked her out of Mystic Falls, she got a call from Stefan. Sometimes he called just to inform her on how everyone was doing. But there was always that one call every year she dreaded more than anything. The call that told her Damon had been asking for her. In all her life, Elena had never remembered a time where she could truly deny him anything. She remembered a few moments, kisses and embraces, but never him asking to see her. And if she was being honest with herself, she missed him. Maybe more than she was willing to admit. Damon and Stefan, although now a five year separation behind them, were still her boys. She cared about them. Hearing that Damon was calling Stefan to ask for her, broke her heart. When Damon needed her, she'd always come.

Elena watched the colorful buildings of New York City melt together into the background as the car whizzed past them. It was ironic – just last year, Katherine had brought her to this city to test how she would react in a place where there were always crowds of people surrounding her and now she was back. This time however, she was filled with a lot more anxiety and that only increased when she felt the car come to a halt in front of one of the tallest buildings she'd ever seen in her lifetime. She took her bag from the driver and gave him a big bill, telling him to keep the change.

Once she found an isolated receptionist, she mustered up the courage to use her compulsion. "You're going to give me a key to the penthouse on the top floor. Then you're going to forget you ever saw me and that this ever happened." Satisfaction crept over her features when she saw the woman nod and reached into a draw and pulled out a keycard. "Enjoy your stay here," she said as she handed it over.

Elena did all but snatch it out of her hand and made a beeline for the already opening elevator. She pushed her way inside just as the doors began closing and let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. As the elevator continually rose up towards higher floors, people left little by little until she was completely alone inside. The gray doors opened up to reveal a small hall in front of her. At the end of the hall, she saw it. A large door with the words "Penthouse Suite" on it in golden brass letters. This was it. As her fingers tightened around the keycard, she mentally prepared herself for the worst. The booze that would litter the floor, the hordes of women in his bed, maybe even a few blood bags here and there. Elena had seen Damon at his worst and this day was no different was what she told herself as she slid the keycard into the slot in the door.

In reality, she wasn't prepared at all.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **I forgot to mention last time that I'll be trying to update weekly. I promise to never make you guys wait for a chapter for like a month. I know how frustrating that is so I wouldn't want to do that to any of you guys. If anything does come up that prevents me from updating as often as I'd want to, I'll make a note in bold on my bio thing about it. To Kaybaby1127 - you'll find out what's wrong with Damon in this chapter. To CuriousWriter - Merlo is in fact, Damon's crow. I love his crow and you can thank my friend Jenn for his name. Thank you guys for your feedback and reviews because they mean a lot to me! But enough from me, here's the next chapter!

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**CHAPTER TWO:**

The minute – no the _second – _Elena opened the door and walked inside, her senses were assaulted by the smell of bourbon. But this was a different kind of bourbon and not the one she was used to. As she walked further into the suite, the smell of the cheap knockoff grew stronger and her nose wrinkled in response. Nothing was what she expected it to be. Everything was relatively clean for the most part. There were no women lounging about the large room and there were no blood bags littering the floors. But she would choose seeing any one of those things than seeing what she saw next.

The image before her broke her being down to its very core. Damon was in the far end of the bedroom area, crouched on his knees. He had a broken glass in one hand and shards of glass sticking out of the other, bleeding profusely. Agony ripped through her at the very sight.

"My fault…so sorry…my fault."

His voice sent another wave of torture through her. That combined with the sight of him so wholly broken unleashed something inside of her. A pain that almost knocked her breathless, astonishing her with its force. She shook her head, frantic, desperate to escape the pain. Elena felt hot tears sting her eyes and it took everything she had not to let out the sob that was trying to claw its way out of her throat. Her knees must've started to shake because the walls around her started to as well. She could hear the blood pounding faster than normal behind her ears. She was dizzy and it was getting increasingly hard to concentrate. She even had to grip the nearby edge of a table to hold her up to keep her grip on things. Elena tried to breathe normally and focus. This was not about her. This wasn't the time to worry about herself. This was about Damon.

When Stefan had told her that it was bad this time, she had panned out a million different scenarios in her head but this, this right in front of her, wasn't one of them. When she would go to see him, all he had been was completely wasted and drunk out of his mind. This time was no different but it was worse. He was never so far gone that he was at the point of hurting himself.

If anything, Elena was disgusted with herself. _This _was her fault. She hated herself for the harsh words she had left both the brothers with. Stefan had long gotten over it because he knew she had been beyond emotional at the time. Her transition was not an easy one. But Damon on the other hand, was a different story. He took everything to heart and where she blamed herself for all that happened, he blamed himself even more. Elena knew that she was his entire world – if not at the very center of it – and despite whatever facade he put up and whatever words he threw out at her, knowing that she hated him and was a vampire because of him would very well tear him up inside. But she didn't hate him. She could never hate Damon. No matter how many times she had said it in the past, she never truly meant it. She only thought she had.

With shaky legs, she hurried over to the bathroom. She couldn't focus on the fact that she felt like she was about to collapse. She had to keep moving. If she stopped, it would all be over. Her hand reached for one of the smaller towels, dampening it with water before she went back out to main part of the bedroom. Once she was kneeling in front of Damon, she took the broken bottle out of his hand and set it aside, making a mental note to throw it out later. Elena took his other hand and began to carefully pulling out the glass.

"Elena…my fault…" he murmured. Her head shot up and for a second, she had hope. Against her better judgment, she allowed a small sliver of hope to seep into her system that this was just a small lapse. But now that she was getting a better look at him, it was all gone. He wasn't talking to her at all. He didn't even realize she was there in front of him. Damon wasn't even looking at her. He was looking _through _her, as if she wasn't even there. The mesmerizing sea of blue that she could always find herself getting lost in was different, like the water had frozen solid. His eyes were like stone; hard and clear and very deep. She felt like she could see into them for miles and miles, yet nowhere in their bottomless depths could she see something other than what was right in front of her.

There was no light in his eyes anymore.

Elena so desperately wanted to shake him out of whatever haze he was in and tell him that she was really there, but she knew it would be no use. His mind would tell him that she was merely a hallucination, something his mind conjured up just to torture him for the hell of it. After all the glass was out of his skin, she took the towel and cleaned off all the blood on his hand. In the back of her mind, a small thought was nagging her. Why wasn't his hand healing quickly? With her enhanced vision, she could see his skin start to piece itself back together but it all just seemed too slow. But she didn't have enough time to spare to think about that. She gathered up as much of her strength as she could and tried lifting Damon up. Even as a vampire, she couldn't move someone like him by much if he didn't want to be moved. For once in her life, she wished he wasn't as muscular as he was because it was definitely adding to her current struggle.

"Damon, please. You need to stand up so I can help you get onto the bed," she pleaded.

Somewhere far off in his drunken state, he must've heard her because all of a sudden everything felt lighter and she was no longer fraught to get him off the ground. He was standing. This time though, she brought up her internal walls to prevent any hope from trickling in again. She couldn't afford to think that he saw anything that was real right now.

Her mission wasn't over yet. She had to get him onto the bed now. For some odd reason, he seemed frozen in his place. Elena pushed into him hard enough that had she been human, the force would've hurled her towards the ground. It would've knocked her breath out of her and snapped her head back. Damon didn't appear to notice that she was trying to move him out of his spot. She could have been pushing against the bare walls for all the progress she was making. Finally, after a couple of more tries, she moved him a few feet. Once she got him near the bed, he seemed to understand what was happening. His body fell straight onto the mattress and she let out a sigh of relief. But even that was short lived. Her eyes immediately found something wrong. Elena moved closer to him and looked at both his hands. His ring was missing. The lapis lazuli ring that kept him from being burnt to a crisp in the sun wasn't on any of his fingers.

Her whole body was numb. His ring, or its lack thereof, was somehow connected to his current state. She had no idea that Damon had so much guilt over the whole thing, this much hatred of himself. If she had known, she would've done something sooner. But Katherine never let Elena get involved with him again until she was more stable as a vampire. "Two unstable vampires equal trouble," she would say. Because Elena trusted Katherine now, and valued her teachings, she listened.

She crawled onto the bed for a small respite to think of her next move. There was no way she could leave now. She needed to fix him and undo all the damage. Damon's body moved itself closer to hers and suddenly his head was on her lap. She was startled by the unexpected touch and looked down to find that he was asleep. Without even realizing what she was doing, Elena lifted a hand and ran her fingers through his raven colored locks. The tears that had threatened to fall over before were freely streaming down her face now, landing on Damon's cheeks.

* * *

It was black for a long time before Damon heard a calling. Someone was shouting his name. It was muted, muffled by all that surrounded him, but it was definitely his name. The voice sounded familiar, that much he knew. In his mind, he threw around the idea of answering the voice but he was lost and it took a long time for him to come to the conclusion that he should answer. But by that time, he no longer heard the voice. He didn't think that he had taken that much time to respond; he was just lost in a paralyzing stupor.

He tried opening his eyes but it was hard. It bothered him that he couldn't open them. He knew that if he could only lift them, he would be flooded with light. Bright, almost offensive, light. That's what usually happened. It was then that he heard the calling again. It sounded louder this time and he almost wanted to cover his ears. He breathed deeply and tried to remember that he should answer. But a part of him thought the voice wouldn't be able to hear him. How could he make it hear him? Would he be able to shout? Would that be enough?

Time made no sense as he pushed blindly and slowly through the fog that surrounded him. It felt like hours were passing, but it was only seconds. Maybe it felt like the time had frozen because it was frozen. He started to worry that he was travelling in a circle, but he kept going. He needed to get to that voice. He stumbled a couple of times and as it grew darker and the fog grew thicker, he fell often as well.

Where was the light going? He paused. Though his eyelids were closed, his body was telling him that the light was fading. He didn't like the sudden feeling of being shrouded in darkness. The light was what would save him from everything. The light would be his savior and take him away. Damon was on the move again, desperate to get away from the darkness. Eventually, his eyelids were creaking open and in the distance, he saw an opening. _His_ opening. He felt himself shake and pushed himself through it. At last, maybe the light had finally come for him…

* * *

"Damon!" Elena tried again, but with no avail. He had slept through the rest of the morning and was continuing on straight into the afternoon. While he slept, she had tried to search for his ring but her efforts were futile. She couldn't wait for him to wake up on his own. She needed him up now so she could find out where it was and put it back on his finger.

Frustrated, she gave up trying to wake him and moved off the bed. She walked around the entire suite and closed all of the blinds and windows, surprised to find that each and every single one of them was open. Elena was just about to close the ones in his room when she realized something. Something that made her want to break down and cry again, just like she had only hours ago. She jerked away from the window and let out a strangled cry at her revelation. This entire time Damon had been testing fate – seeing if one morning the sunlight would come in at just the right angle to turn him to dust.

Elena flew back to his side instantly and shook him harder this time. She knew she should've been gentler but the sudden realization combined with her anxiety was just too much. His eyes opened gradually and she let out a relieved cry.

"Damon," she gasped. "You're awake. Good. I need you…I need you to tell me where your ring is."

His eyes glanced past her, at the windows and his face crumpled with confusion for all but a single moment. She knew what he was wondering about. The windows. He had left them open and now they were closed. They weren't supposed to be closed.

Elena tried her damnedest not to cry again and focus on the matter at hand. "Your ring, Damon."

"My ring?" He lifted his hands to his face and inspected them, as if to look for any trace of what she was talking about.

"Yes," she said impatiently, "Where is it?"

"Don't know," he replied in a finite tone.

She looked at him incredulously before closing her eyes and raking a hand through her hair. This was going to be much more difficult than she had anticipated. Seeing as how he wouldn't be very forthcoming with information, she would have to find the ring on her own. Damon's flair for grandeur was always one of the things that piqued her interest but right now, it was going to be a thorn in her side. He just had to go and pick the presidential suite to stay in. The place was _huge. _It would take her forever to find it. She looked back at Damon and then buried her face in her hands. He was asleep again. She didn't mind it anymore though. Now that she knew he wouldn't tell her where his ring was, she didn't need him awake. He wouldn't be much use and make any progress if he wasn't fully sober.

Elena decided to utilize her new found free time. She scoured the entire suite and turned it upside down looking for his ring. If she were ever to lose Damon somehow, she didn't want to be because she didn't try hard enough. She left no stone unturned and went through every crack and crevice she could find. It still wasn't enough, though. Even in his darkest place, Damon knew how to do things well. It just broke her heart that hiding the one item that was essential to his survival was one of those things. Did he really want to die that much? Was he suffering that badly?

Of course he was. Damon needed her as much as she needed him but she hadn't been there. At least in her case, she had Katherine to occupy her. She was mainly focused on getting her vampire self and her blood lust under control. There hadn't been room for much else. But Damon didn't have anything or anyone to bide his time with. His brother wouldn't have been a good enough distraction. Only Elena would have sufficed. She knew that.

She let out a sigh and continued her search. She checked every place she could but it still was nowhere to be found. But what she did find was bottles and bottles of alcohol. All of them were either empty or half full. God, there was just _so _much of it everywhere. He had really done it this time. Detouring from what she originally set out to do, Elena gathered up as many bottles as she could find. Once she was done emptying them out into a sink, she threw them all out. She reached down and lifted the trash bag out of the bin and walked over to the door. Her hand hesitated on the knob and she anxiously glanced behind herself. She didn't want to leave Damon. Even if for just a couple of minutes, she was afraid to leave him. But she needed to start his alcohol detox and having dozens and dozens of bottles lying around as reminders wouldn't help at all.

Swallowing hard, she slid outside the large door and crept down the empty hallway. The one good thing about Damon having gotten the presidential suite was that he had the whole floor to himself. There would be no prying eyes. There were no other hotel rooms on this floor except for a few that she assumed to be maintenance closets. Regardless of that, she still felt a heavier weight on her heart. He didn't want to be around other people. He wanted to cut himself off from as much human contact as he could.

She went over to one of the other rooms and twisted the doorknob around for a few seconds before it finally gave way. She tossed the bag inside and swiftly returned back to Damon's suite and picked up her search from where she left it off.

* * *

After what seemed like looking around for hours on end, but was really only an hour and a half, Elena went back to the bedroom. It was then that she happened to remember that every room in a hotel came with a safe in case whoever was staying inside wanted to keep their valuables protected. Where could the safe be? She thought back to all the countless hotels she had been at before she and Katherine finally settled down in a small apartment. That's when she realized that most of the safes weren't in out in the wide open. They weren't in obvious and easily visible spaces. With a sudden idea, she moved towards the closet on the wall adjacent to the bed and gently slid the door back.

She ran her hands along the walls to feel for anything out of the ordinary. Frustrated, she shoved all the hangers and articles of clothing to one side. There, in the very back corner, was the safe. It was as white as the walls were, blending in effortlessly. She didn't know what the combination for it was but luckily for her, she didn't need to. She placed her hand on the dial and twisted it completely off, making the small door swing open. The corners of her mouth twisted upward, preparing itself for the triumphant smile that would soon appear when she got want she wanted.

Nothing.

There was absolutely nothing inside of it. Elena tried not to let her anger get the best of her. She sank down onto the ground and buried her face into her hands. How was she ever supposed to help him if she wasn't able to take him outside during the daylight hours? She would've been perfectly content to stay inside with him all day long but staying indoors all day wasn't going to help him. But she wasn't going to go out if he couldn't. She wasn't going to leave Damon.

Elena lifted her head and turned to her side to get up but out of the corner of her peripheral vision, she spotted something. In the farther end of the closet was another bottle. She rolled her eyes and stretched out her arm to get it. Her fingers tightened around its neck and she pulled it out of the darkness. She was about to go throw it out when her ears picked up a small, but distinct, clinging sound. She shook the bottle and heard it again. She repeated the action and heard the sound again. And again. And again.

The awe never left her face as she turned the bottle upside down and out onto her hand came a blue and silver ring. She clutched it to her heart and closed her eyes, sending out thousands of prayers into the world that she had found it. It was in the last place she would ever think it to be but she had found it nonetheless.

When she opened her eyes, she was dead set on slipping the ring onto his finger but something stopped her. The bottle itself. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she took its appearance in, wondering why it looked so familiar. It took her all of a minuscule second to realize where she had seen that particular bottle before.

_Elena felt incredibly buoyant. She was almost bursting at the seams with her excitement. It felt odd but things had been going well for her. For all of them. Of course things wouldn't stay that way forever. She wasn't naive and wouldn't try to pretend that the calmness would last. It was Mystic Falls, after all. But she was determined to enjoy the peace while it lasted and make the most of it. Especially today. The world could've been in shambles all around her but she wouldn't have cared. She would worry about the rest of the world some other time. She wasn't going to let anything ruin today._

_Earlier that day, she had combed through as many stores as possible trying to get a bottle of bourbon. The hardest part was finding a place that would sell liquor to a minor. After going to the first couple of handfuls of stores, she lost count of how many she had been to. She didn't want to resort to going to one of her friends and asking them for it. She wanted to do this on her own. Thankfully, there was one store that didn't ask her for any identification. Any other time, that would've sparked her curiosity but right now, she could care less. She got what she was looking for._

_A little while later, Elena arrived at the boardinghouse and still couldn't contain herself. She rapped on the door three times and was about to again when it opened. There he was, in all his glory. He was dressed as he normally was, in all black. But she didn't mind his dark clothing. They fit him and they brought out his eyes. Her eyes flickered to his lips for a fraction of a second before his velvety voice snapped her back to reality._

_"What do we have here?" Damon asked, his voice full of wonder and slightly amused._

_Elena's smile stretched from ear to ear on her face as she saw the bemused look crossing his. He really didn't know why she was there. Good. For once in her life, she held the element of surprise over him. She raised the bourbon and waved it in front of him, "I got you a little something."_

_"Who'd you have to steal that from?"_

_"Because I definitely would steal something. Right. No, I bought it on my own. No stealing or outside help required." She edged her way past Damon and walked into the living room of the boardinghouse. She could feel his eyes on her as she walked ahead of him and reveled in the power she currently held._

_"They're selling alcohol to underage people? I'll have to have a word with Liz about that…"_

_"As if you ever cared about rule breaking."_

_"True. So what's the occasion?"_

_"Oh, you know…"_

_"Elena."_

_"Yes?" She looked up as innocently as she could. He merely shook his head and watched her move. She blushed slightly, grabbed two clear glasses, and then opened the bottle so she could pour each of them a drink. _

_"You know, it's a good thing you came over. My liquor supply is dangerously low and now that you came with some, I don't have to leave." He mused something over in his mind before continuing, "Not that I don't like the fact that you're here, because I do, but why are you here?"_

_The sudden seriousness of his tone threw her off for a moment but she recovered quickly. She shook her head at him, "Damon."_

_"Yes?" He mimicked the exact look and tone she had used only minutes ago._

_"Did you really think I wouldn't come?"_

_"I have no idea what you're talking about."_

_Sure he didn't. She sat down next to him on the sofa so close that their sides were touching, with virtually no space between them. Elena knew he liked to have her close. If he was caught off guard by her move, he didn't show it. Without waiting for him to say something, she gave him the biggest of smiles and clinked her glass with his._

_ "Happy birthday Damon."_

Elena's eyes brimmed with tears. She couldn't believe that he had kept the bottle she had bought him for his birthday. Even after all these years, he still had it. A small part of her mentally chastised herself for not thinking something like that wouldn't mean anything to him. At the time, she hadn't cared about the bottle itself. She only cared about getting him a gift for his birthday. Damon didn't like to make a big deal out of his birthday and she knew that. But she wanted to do something small and special. One day while he was out, she had gone over to the boardinghouse and snooped around. Since he hadn't wanted to tell her when the exact date was and neither had Stefan, she knew she would have to do some investigating on her own. It took a while, but she did find it. And Elena never did forget the goofy but genuine smile that appeared on his face after she finally revealed why she went to him that day.

Finding the bottle ignited something within her. She was even more determined to get her Damon back. She knew he was in there somewhere. Broken and miserable, but he was still there. She just needed to dig deep enough to find him.

She walked over to where he was sleeping and took the hand that he always used to wear his ring on. By fate, it was wide open. She tried to put it on his finger, but the moment the metal touched his skin, his hand curled into a fist. Elena looked at his face, thinking he was awake, but he was still fast asleep. Confused, she tried again. But his hand still wouldn't budge. She set the ring aside and she could feel the bead of sweat on her brow as she tried to wrench his hand open. It was no use. His fist was hard as stone. She tried putting the ring on his other hand but the same thing happened. Still, with her vampire strength, she couldn't yank it open. She was amazed, but not the good kind. She resorted to putting the ring onto her own finger to keep it safe. Not knowing where it was the first time was enough panic for her.

"You mark my words, Damon. I will get you to wear this ring. You are _not_ going to die on me," she whispered before finally retreating to the living room.

* * *

Damon could feel a pounding in his head. It felt like a ton of bricks had been throw at him or as if he had been run over by a train multiple times in a row. He didn't appreciate the feeling, but he didn't really care. He didn't care about much these days. Nothing mattered. He opened his eyes and that saw the room was still completely dark. It must've been the maid. He specifically remembered hanging a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door to keep the housekeeping service out but of course, they didn't listen. Nobody ever listened. But again, he didn't really care.

He got himself up long enough to look around the room for more bourbon. His hand fumbled around the nightstand looking for the bottle he put there the other night. He was sure there had been at least some liquid left in it. He grew frantic when his hands didn't wrap around any glass. He pushed everything off the small table, the loud thud of the alarm clock hitting the floor making the pounding in his head even worse.

"Damon?" A voice floated across the room and hit him louder than anything else ever had. He slowly turned around at looked at the source of the voice. Elena. He shook his head. That wasn't Elena. The real Elena was somewhere with Katherine.

"My drinks..." he mumbled as he sifted through the drawers with his clothes. There should've been at least a couple of bottles there. But again, he came up with nothing.

"Gone," The mirage told him simply.

"Gone?"

"Yes. I threw all of your stash out. No more alcohol for you for a long time."

No. _No. _ It couldn't be gone. Not all of it. Why was Elena's illusion doing this to him? He had done nothing to her. The real Elena, yes. But her? No. He had done nothing. But maybe that was the problem. Maybe the illusion was so fed up of being ignored, it was finally making itself known. But not his alcohol. Anything but that. He needed it. In every fiber of his being, he needed it. It was the only thing that got him through the nights. It was the only thing that got him to drown out the real world. He supposed that his drunkenness was what made up the illusion in the first place. His mind made her up to punish him for what he had done. Every time he would get drunk, it would appear. It never did anything other than stare at him with sad doe eyes, though. That frustrated him the most. But he figured out the solution to drown that out too. The more he drank, the fuzzier it got and then soon enough, the illusion was gone.

"Damon? Please stop looking for it. You won't find any. You should get some more rest."

"No…need it…" Damon muttered, trying to battle the seeds of sobriety. He unsteadily moved away from her and looked through his other hiding spots. He made a move to start walking towards the kitchen but he tripped over his own two feet and found himself falling.

He felt the smooth tiled floor beneath his knees, and then the palms of his hands, and then it was pressed against the skin on his cheek. He hoped that he was passing out, but, to his disappointment, he didn't lose consciousness at all. The waves of pain and depression that he had been trying to suppress now flitted to the surface and washed over his head, pulling him under.

Pulling him back into his white room.


End file.
